I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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