yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize