oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize