Can Purell be used as lube?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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