I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it hurts more in the daytime
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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