i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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