I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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