If i come over, it means nothing
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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