Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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