He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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