OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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