Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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