Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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