what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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