He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize