I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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