bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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