so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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