Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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