wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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