Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize