i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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