6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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