the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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