He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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