so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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