that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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