i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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