Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize