I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize