if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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