i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize