You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize