Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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