no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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