If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i love accidental penises.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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