can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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