so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
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