Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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