Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
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Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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