whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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