Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
not ubering you a puppy
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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