its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize