I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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