Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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