YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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