Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
smell my finger.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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