He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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