yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
As shirtless as possible
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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