She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize